A Dreamy Journey Through Life

The Doubtful Descendent of St. Thomas There is a chill murmuring all around, And my heart is wandering round. It sings unsung melodies sweet. I wonder what spell has conquered me. Your magnetic presence drives me thus, That my words and deeds are now senseless. I gather strength to stand still in this thunder, But your love, like a whirlpool, sinks me deeper. Yes, I know to love is total destruction And to be loved is, simply, chaos. But the warmth makes it hard for me To disown and completely deny you. I try, and fail, and try, then fail; And your smile loves all my attempts. Your eyes are indeed true and thoughts pure. It is me who is confused which has no cure. I, as usual, am a helpless, passive fool. Yet, I am safe; for your smile says, “all is well”.

It is not ‘one day’; it is every day. I wake up thinking, ‘You! You gave me a day more!’ Then I step out and make myself busy, Dreaming of… Dreaming of nothing. Nothingness engulfs me. Loneliness enchants me. Nothing else can tempt me. No one else can spend me. I am single and I love it single. There are friends to cheer me up; Family so caring; and My love, burning all my waste. I care for them, I need them. I neglect them, I don’t need them. My thoughts are crowded, my heart empty. I want to be crowded, but need solitude. I am bound, but most free now. Sometimes I, of course, like the knot. But no! I am different and I love it.